0:07  
Hi! It's Alexis, your favorite positive psychology nerd and human pep talk. Today's episode is sponsored by that very special kind of flopsweat that has decided to pool in your armpits and make your upper lip glisten, while you try to act like a totally not sweaty, competent adult human on this consultation call with an expert therapist that you're trying to figure out if you wanna work with or not. 

0:34  
Choosing a therapist is intimidating. Seeking therapy is already hard enough as it is, especially in the United States, where we've made equitable access to mental health care seem impossible, for many reasons, including, you know, unchecked capitalism sponsoring a financially inaccessible pay to play insurance system, and all kinds of systemic oppression, like racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, ableism classism.... 

1:01  
[error beeping sound]

1:02  
But once you're just decided that you want to seek—or need to seek—therapy or counseling, how do you know that this random person you just googled is not only qualified to offer you quality, life-changing mental health advice or diagnoses—but is also someone you'll totally vibe with, who is capable of handling your most vulnerable information, and isn't going to gaslight you or make you feel like shit, or totally misinterpret what you're trying to say? 

1:29  
You can't know all of that about someone from just one conversation with them. If you could, you would be psychic and we would be making TV shows about you. But but but but but—you can find out a lot about someone and save yourself a lot of time and money and frustration by asking the right questions right away. 

1:48  
So first things first: bookmark this video, because we all know that you're going to like, nod aggressively while I'm sharing this information. And then, you know, scroll to the next thing and completely forget everything I said. So hit save, bookmark it. 

2:01  
Also, I keep saying "therapist" here, but you should know that this set of questions also applies to psychologists, social workers, counselors, psychiatrists. All of these experts practice some version of therapy, so that's why I'm using the umbrella term therapy or "therapist." 

2:19  
Ready? Question number one, what's your educational background? The reason we're asking it is to find out what type of therapy they were trained in. And if you don't know what they're talking about when they say it, you can always Google it later. And secondly, to listen for what they're passionate about. Often when people talk about what they studied, they end up segwaying into what they love and that's what you need to know. 

2:41  
Question number two, "what state or states, are you licensed in?" Trust me on this. If you're seeking mental health advice or counseling or any kind of medical diagnoses, you want to work with someone who is licensed to work with someone who is licensed. 

3:01  
[mumbles "you want to work with someone who is licensed" to a beat while dancing]

3:01  
If they are not yet licensed but working towards it, they'll tell you right away. And that's very possible because it takes anywhere between 1000 to 3000 hours of supervised work in order to begin to qualify for a license. You can ask them, "Who is your license supervisor and may I have their contact information?" 

3:19  
And by the way, if they get weird about the licensing question, run for the hills. Also, therapists, counselors, psychologists, all of them are only legally allowed to practice in the state that they're licensed in or states. So, this is important for you to know now, because if you or your therapist ends up moving states that can affect your treatment plan. 

3:40  
Question number three, "what is your treatment approach?" This is an open ended question, we love open ended questions because they help us get a vibe for who this therapist is. If they start listing terminology you don't recognize, like, say, "psychodynamic" or "cognitive behavioral," don't worry about it, just politely ask them to explain what they mean. 

4:01  
This is important: One, pay attention to what those treatment plans mean as they're explaining it. Would you be interested in trying something like that? And two, pay attention to how they're tone answering those questions makes you feel. Did it come across helpful and simple to understand or did they sound condescending. 

4:19  
Question number four: "What type of patients do you enjoy working with?" Another open ended question. We love this, it helps us get the vibe for the therapist. Again, pay attention to how their response makes you feel. 

4:31  
Question number five, "What is your experience working with people with my background and identities?" Which is another way of saying, "Do you get me? And are you going to gaslight me?" This is a multi-layered question you're going to want to make your own. 

4:45  
Here are some examples, depending on your identities and the communities, you're a part of. You might ask, "How does working with an LGBTQ plus client change your treatment approach?" Or maybe, "How do you approach building an anti-racist therapy practice?" Or maybe you could ask a question like, "What's your experience working with multicultural, multi-ethnic clients like me?" And again, pay attention to the response. Does it seem clinical and general, or do they actually have experience as a child of immigrant parents or as a member of a bilingual family? 

5:17  
Whatever you end up asking, what we want to find out is whether this therapist's values align with yours, and the likelihood that they will treat your lived experiences with value and respect and understanding.

5:30  
Future Alexis here, doing a fun, god-like voiceover because I couldn't resist answering this question: How the hell are you supposed to find a therapist that meets some of your intersecting identities and doesn't gaslight you and makes you feel seen and heard with a quick Google search?! 

5:44  
[grumbles] I know. 

5:45  
So, first, try searching at inclusivetherapists.com. They're amazing—not affiliated with them, I just love them. And secondly, check out OpenPathcollective.com. Both of these databases have amazing filter systems and you can find therapists who meet your needs, much faster than just a random Google search or the Psychology Today database.  Okay? Okay, bye. 

6:08  
Question number six: "What is your fee per session?" Expect them to say anywhere between 50 to $250 an hour. If this rate seems way too high for your budget, don't panic. First, if you have insurance, ask them if they accept that specific insurance. If you're wondering how to figure out whether your insurance company covers mental health care, visit AlexisRockley.com/resources.

6:34  
 If you don't have insurance, or they can't work with that insurance plan, and their rate still feels way too high for your budget, again, don't panic. The next question you ask is, "Do you have a sliding scale payment option?" Sliding scale is an agreement where therapists are willing to lower their base rate based on your income bracket. It's very common for therapists to have a sliding scale policy, and it is not rude to ask about it, so do it! 

6:59  
If they say no to sliding scale, ask if they have a discounted cash rate, or if they offer discounted group therapy sessions or something like that. If they say no to all of the above, still don't panic. Ask them politely for recommendations for low cost therapy options. They often have them.  

7:18  
If you can't afford to work with them, there's no shame in that. You can politely thank them for their time and end your consultation there and, you know, continue searching for the right therapist for you.

7:28  
But let's assume that the rate feels kind of high, but you want to learn more about the therapists before you move on to searching further. In that case, it brings us to question number seven: "How do you measure progress?" 

7:41  
Another open-ended question that we love, it gives us a vibe. If their answer feels a little vague, Ask them "what success have you had, treating patients with concerns like mine?" Remember, if anything they say, is confusing or they use terminology don't understand, ask them to explain.

8:00  
[TikTok clip cuts in] "You have been summoned to the house of vibes for your vibe check."  

8:03  
[cuts back to Alexis] If their answer feels condescending, then make a mental note of it, 

8:07  
[TikTok clip cuts in] "Not a vibe!!!"

8:07  
Question number eight, "what relationships do you have with specialists like psychiatrists, for example?" Their answer will clarify whether they have a trusted network of doctors they can recommend to prescribe your medication should you need it. Because guess what, therapists can't prescribe medication. Only medical professionals including psychiatrists can. But therapists work with psychiatrist all the time, they're like peanut butter and jelly. 

8:32  
Question number nine. "How often will we meet, for how long, and is it hard to get an appointment?" Technically, that was three questions but whatever. It's typical for them to say, 45 minutes to 60 minutes per session, and to say weekly meetings to monthly meetings, and yes you can negotiate how often you meet with your therapist. 

8:52  
Question number 10, "Do you have a cancellation policy?" What we're really asking  here is, "what happens if I can't make an appointment," or "what happens if I'm accidentally late to our appointment?" You probably will have already gotten this answer from the therapist during your conversation, but it's good to have this question in your pocket, just in case. 

9:09  
Question number 11, "How would you like to communicate outside of sessions— email, text, phone?" Can you reach them anytime, or only during sessions, and where should you direct questions that come up outside of your normal session times? 

9:23  
Which brings me to question number 12, "In case of emergency, do you have an on call system?" So let's say that several months from now, you're going through a really really hard time. And this isn't like a check-yourself-into-a-hospital kind of emergency, but maybe you're really distressed and you need help outside of your normal session times. What can you do? Who do you call? Who do you call after hours? Will your therapist pick up, will someone pick up? It's okay if your therapist is not available for after hours things but it's better to find out that you need access to a crisis text or phone line now, rather than later. 

10:00  
Question number 13, "Which part of our work together is not confidential or private?" So, licensed therapists are required to comply with HIPAA privacy laws, but this is a really crucial thing to check on. HIPAA does sound like an exercise fad from the 80s, but it actually stands for the "Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996." 

10:24  
This is a federal law that protects patients sensitive health information for being shared with the public or with any other party without their consent. So other questions you could ask on this topic: "Do you share my information with any third parties? What about our video sessions, are they secure or encrypted? Do you record any of our sessions? If my employer is paying for these sessions, do they have a right to know what we're working on are talking about?

10:49  
By the way, if you are paying for sessions with your insurance, you should know that therapists are required to give the insurance company meeting notes diagnoses medical treatment plans and all that stuff; it's the only way insurance companies will agree to pay for that service. And although this shouldn't be a problem, because our healthcare system is at the intersection of all kinds of different injustice, this can be dangerous for some of us. 

11:16  
If you want to know more about the pros and cons of paying for therapy with insurance or without insurance, check out, AlexisRockley.com/resources. 

11:26  
Question number 14, "How do I know when I'm done working with you?" Another open ended beauty of a question. This helps them elaborate on the way we track progress. Keep in mind that you can always decide when you're done working with a therapist, unless it's court ordered. 

11:44  
And finally, question number 15, "Do you think you can help me?" This is the most open ended of all of our questions, and it's like that on purpose. The entire point here is to see how their response makes you feel. And by the way, they might ask you follow up questions about what you think you need, and that's fine respond to them. This is not a trick question, you just want to see how their answer makes you feel, do we vibe, do we not vibe, it is a vibe, it's not a vibe. What is it. 

12:12  
And there you have it: 43 pages of research notes condensed into 15-ish questions because I think you're great, you're welcome. 

12:21  
Did you bookmark this video and save it for later? Yeah, do that now. Did you want a free downloadable version of this question list because you will totally forget what you need to ask in the moment? Yes you do, and you can find that on Alexis Rockley.com/resources. 

12:37  
Do you know someone who needs this information? Forward this video to them! The more that we can help each other navigate this ridiculously opaque, unnecessarily complicated healthcare system that we have, especially in the United States, the better.

12:51  
P.S. the world is looking more and more like a dumpster fire, but I think you're doing pretty f ***king amazing,  all things considered\, and I love you.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai